50 Shades of Green
50 Shades of Green
Season # 1
Episode # 7
Directed by: John Fortenberry
Writen by: Kristin Newman
Original Air Date: November 7, 2012
U.S. Viewers (millions) 6.87
Publication Order
Preceded by-
"Larry Bird and the Iron Throne"
Followed by-
"Thanksgiving Is for the Bird-Kersees"

"50 Shades of Green" is the 7th episode of Season 1 in The Neighbors.


It’s the Zabvronian mating season! The whole community is in heat. It’s…weird. Debbie is enthralled by their mating ritual, which is all mental/emotional, as opposed to the physical rituals that humans use. She tries it on Marty, with minimal impact. Jackie’s curious about getting physical with Larry – which disgusts him. Amber is invited to a make-out party, which kinda freaks her out, so she asks Reggie to do something to help get her out of anything she’s not ready for.

Marty knows it would mean a lot to Debbie if he tried the Zabvronian compliment ritual, so they give it a try. It kinda fails, but Debbie’s just glad Marty wanted to try it out. On the flipside, Larry dons some negligee. We won’t say any more than that. Meanwhile, at the make-out party, just as Amber reaches an understanding with her hot crush that she’s not ready for physical stuff (which he is totally cool with), Reggie comes through. As long as you consider “coming through” warning the parents, who stage an all-out minivan assault on the golf course where the make-out party has ended up.


The Neighbors 1x07 Promo "50 Shades of Green" (HD)

The Neighbors 1x07 Promo "50 Shades of Green" (HD)

Guest StarsEdit

  • Grant Harvey as Jeremy
  • Kiersten Lyons as Billie Jean King
  • Patrick O'Sullivan as Johnny Unitas


  • Neighbors Valentines 02

    Simon Templeman

    The original broadcast ended with a public service announcement featuring Jami Gertz extolling "The National Campaign To Prevent Teen and Uplanned Pregnancy."
  • A photo of Larry  Bird in drag from this episode later surfaced on an online set of silly ABC Network Valentine's Day Cards.


  • "Tell Me Something Good" (Single Version) by Rufus & Chaka Khan
  • "Wanna Be Loved" by Ben Rector
  • "Get Fed" by The High Decibels
  • "05/11/07" by Standard Fare
  • "Love Is In the Air" by John Paul Young


Debbie: Take out?
Marty: Order in?
Debbie: Pizza?
Marty: Delivery?
Debbie: Frozen?
Marty: Happy Anniversary.

Debbie: So, all of these people are…doing it?
Jackie: Oh, absolutely not. They’re just presenting. Oh, wait, no… Billie Jean King and Johnny Unitas are indeed doing it.

Amber: Seriously? The sex talk? Awesome, because I haven’t learned everything there is to know from TV, movies, the fifth-grade health class, the seventh-grade health class, the ninth-grade health class. So, the real question, parents, is, Do you have any questions for me, because I’m pretty sure I have more answers than you do.

Reggie: Hello, Amber Weaver. Please forgive me if I don't look you in the eye. I'm in heat and afraid I'll uncontrollably connect with you.

Marty: You know how I feel about baths. You’re sitting in your own muck, things that are supposed to dangle, float…eghk.

Marty: Here’s what we do. You finish your wine, take a nice bath and relax. I’m gonna watch SportsCenter, I’m gonna take some Gas-X, and then I’m gonna romance the crap outta you.

Larry: Wife! Why aren’t you wearing more clothes?

Zabvronian Instructional Video: And now, module eight, Earth invasion. Phase one: Kill all the bees.
Larry: Uh, that was nothing. Good night, Marty!

Larry: We have further questions. While I have been successful at human mating, Jackie Joyner-Kersee remains unable to achieve satisfaction.
Jackie: Is that normal?
Marty: No.
Debbie: Yeah.
Marty: Damn.

Marty: I know you think you’ve got it all figured out because you wear black and you know how to use Google, but it’s complicated. Look at all of us. We’re like a hundred and we’re still trying to sort this stuff out.
Amber: You are really old for this.
Marty: Very old.
Larry (running up to the group): He got away. We got a hunk of his hair for the dogs. We’ll have him by daybreak.
Marty: I’m also sorry for that.

Debbie: You being a good dad to your daughter is the sexiest thing in the world to me.
Marty: Oh yeah? (sexy voice) What else do you want me to do to our daughter? Wow, that’s not what I…I knew it came out the wrong way.

Zabvronian RevelationsEdit

  • During puberty, Zabvronians' back humps swell and drop.
  • Marty sees a glimpse of a Zabvronian training film which reveals the aliens were sent to Earth to take over. The first step of their plan was to wipe out the world's bee population.
  • This was Reggie Jackson's first mating season(mentioned by Jackie)
  • It took only 3 attemps for Reggie Jackson to connect with Amber.

Cultural ReferencesEdit


The image gallery for 50 Shades of Green may be viewed here.